I assure you that these are NOT jokes – unfortunately!
They are genuine quotes that I and my colleagues encountered all around the world...
If you’d like to add to this collection or provide some feedback, just email me!
| “SPECIAL OFFER: All our guest has free dentist cheek in private ambulant.” (B & B brochure, Slovenia) |
“The sense of use must be dully respected” (On a label of a folding ladder purchased in France) |
| “Warning keep out of children” (On a label accompanying a Korean kitchen knife) |
“We appreciate your interest in visiting with outrageous building... A building of this type will perfectly meet your requirements concerning the technical workletter.” (From a German estate agent’s letter to a potential English client) |
| “Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.” (Instructions on using the air conditioning in a Japanese hotel) |
“When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.” (Found in a booklet accompanying a rented car) |
| “It gives your hair softness, flutter, a pleasant odour and preserves its natural gloss.” (Found on a Macedonian shampoo packet) |
Please email me more |
While we all laugh at these when abroad, it's no joke if your own client is on the receiving end. Here is how the Go Airline's in-flight magazine turned off Czech passengers from a London bar (I've left out its name, they've suffered enough negative advertising): |
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co bude k jídlu a k pití Sklep G., zaven pes víkendy. Vinn bar nacházející se hned vedle vysoce cenného Klubu G.; skvlá tapas jídla a vynikající regionální vína... Kouení doutníku drench ve speciáln zhotovench pouzdrech. (No Go for Czechs? And this is what it would read in English:) what will there be to eat and to drink Cellar G., clsed dog weekends. Vin bar situated straight next to a highly precious club G.; spldid food tapas and excellent regional wines... Smoing of a drench cigar in specilly mde cases. |
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NOT my translations And finally....some useful links
Renata Korpak PhD
Member of the Institute of Linguists
48 Upper North Street
Brighton, East Sussex BN1 3FH, UK
Tel./fax +44 (0) 1273 772 001
Mobile tel. +44 (0) 7703 627 279
korpak@nildram.co.uk